speccygeekgrrl42: (sort life out)
[personal profile] speccygeekgrrl42
I had a seizure last night.

Let me back up. The past couple weeks I've been on the decline. I could feel my mood slipping. Last week was fucking awful. I was in a pit and I couldn't see my way out of it. But wait... there's always my trusty friend dextromethorphan. DXM has always kicked me out of shitty mood swings before. I went back and forth on whether it was a good idea. On Thursday I went to a Rifftrax Live show, hoping it would perk me up, but it didn't do the trick. But I bought tussin caps before the show, and when I got home from work on Friday I took my customary 150mg dose. It hit me hard and lifted me right the fuck up. I was a giggly, perky klutz by the time Spencer got home.

The weekend was fucking phenomenal. I've never felt so good on drugs before. DXM always makes me happy, but being with Spencer made me even happier. He had Saturday off, so we were together from 9pm on Friday until 3:30 on Sunday afternoon. We fucked seven times in that time span. It was amazing. Saturday was my game night. Only McKenna came, and she asked me to be a bridesmaid! Rachael asked me to be her bridesmaid like three weeks ago. So now I'm going to be a bridesmaid twice. At least I know Rachael is paying for my dress, lol. Anyways... spent the whole weekend cuddling and canoodling with Spencer. Watched a lot of Futurama, finished watching MST3K season 11, he cooked me a fancy dinner on Friday night, we got sushi with Lizzi Saturday afternoon, and then he made me the best pancakes I've ever had on Sunday morning. Oh, and he bought me a bouquet of irises on our way home Friday afternoon.

So the tussin made its way out of my system by Sunday evening. I woke up on Monday feeling completely happier than I'd been the week before. Went to work, after work I went to the mall to swap a Pop with someone and to pick up the pizza blanket I'd commissioned from a local crocheter and hung out with my coworker's son at the mall. Spencer drove me home from the mall on his break and I waited until he got home because he was having a shitty day and I wanted to make it better. He always takes 30 minute showers after work, so I hopped into the shower with him... and that was the error.

I started feeling lightheaded as soon as I got in the shower and I should have gotten right out but I didn't. I realized I didn't feel good but insisted on actually washing myself because it had been a hot day and I'd been sweating. I managed to get my hair shampooed before the dizziness took me down and I sat on the tub floor in front of Spencer's feet. He was like "are you okay?" and I was like "yeah, I'm fine, just dizzy, give me a second." Stupidly and stubbornly, I stood back up and tried to soap myself up, but very quickly swayed back against Spencer and he had to hold me up. He asked me what was wrong and I said "I feel like I did right before my last seizure," and then proceeded to... have a seizure, of course. He held onto me while I lost control of my limbs and I shook a bit and then... idiotically tried to tell him I was fine and got out of the shower and almost lost control again, ended up huddled on the bathroom floor in front of the toilet still soaking with a towel around my shoulders... and then my idiot ass tried to tell him to finish his shower because I was fine. Luckily for me, he ISN'T an idiot. He managed to carry me back across the apartment and get me to the bed and made sure I was lying down and would stay lying down before he went to wash the conditioner out of his hair.

I know why I had the seizure. It's the same reason I had the last seizure, but forgot about. Robotussin doesn't mix well with one of my medications. The last time I took DXM was in 2010 and I stopped BECAUSE it gave me a seizure.

...and still, my dumb ass is wondering if I could safely take a smaller dose for the mood lifting without the seizure side effect. No safe way to test it, but I still wonder.

Anyways. The last time I updated was April. Lots of shit has happened since April.

Spencer moved in with me at the beginning of May. Claudia wanted to move across the river to cut her commute, which I totally understood. And Spencer was agreeable to moving in instead of paying rent for a place in Averill Park he was never at. He turned Claudia's room into his gaming room and I managed to make enough space in the bedroom for all his clothes (even though it's still mostly all my shit in here).

I'm SO HAPPY living with him. It's wonderful not having to wear clothes in my own apartment. He cooks for me and he doesn't care about being the one to do the smelly chores and I know I've woken up to him basically every night since we started dating but now he BELONGS here and it's just... so great.

I started collecting Funko Pops in an almost pathological way since April. There was a Pop swap at ThinkGeek in the mall and that introduced me to the tight-knit community of Funko collectors in this area. So I went from my out-of-box desk buddy army at work to having almost complete collections of Stranger Things and Rick and Morty (including the expensive rare Chase variants), most of the Guardians of the Galaxy, lots of movie Pops, all the Futurama pops except the SUPER rare and pricey ones... just going absolutely batshit with my collection. I have about $2000 worth of Pops now. I realize I am a madwoman, but I love collecting things, especially cute and nerdy things.

The new season of Mystery Science Theater 3000 dropped on Netflix in April. Spencer and I tried to watch it slowly to savor it, but as soon as I started watching I started writing fanfiction because the Mads are the daughter of Dr. Forrester and the son of TV's Frank and... Forrester and Frank were the origin of my very long-standing villain/henchman kink (the most recent previous example being Monarch/Mrs./21 from Venture Bros) but... yeah. Max is canonically in love with Kinga and she canonically doesn't give a fuck about him and I categorically could not resist shipping the almighty fuck out of them. SO I started writing a fairly plotty, very backstory heavy series about how they've known each other since childhood and how they got to the Moon and I thought I was going to try to guide it around to canon but... no... they're in love and I can't stop it now. But I was going overboard with the early parts posting them on AO3 and I got myself a fangirl! And then on the third story she was like "I've been in a really dark place lately and these stories are all that's cheering me up so thanks" and... you all know me. You know I can't ignore someone in pain. So I gave her my FB contact info and we started chatting and it turned out that she was going from NYC to Saratoga Springs for the weekend... so I met up with her at the bus station on her way home and smoked a bowl with her in the parking lot and she was really cute and cool! Her name is Alex and Spencer keeps teasing me about how she's going to steal me from him. We've been chatting pretty much constantly since then and we're going to a concert together at SPAC in August and I'm just really excited about it.

I've seriously been going balls to the wall with the MST3K stuff though. It's now my second most posted fandom on AO3 (only after Heroes, and I wrote a SHITTON of Heroes fic back in the day, most of which I never even reposted to AO3). I've gotten back into recording podfic but so far I've only recorded my own stories. Spencer is amused by my fangirling. I think I might have agreed to write him fanfiction? Like... porny Chrono Trigger threesome fic? Maybe he'll be happy if I finish the Futurama fic I've been ignoring since I picked up MST3K.

We went back to Vermont toward the end of May, spent the night at his dad's place in the mountains, then crossed the lake and spent another night at Kristin's tiny apartment in Renaissance Village (lmao, yes, on South Catherine St) after playing games with her and Sadie and Colby all night. Sadie and Colby came back in the morning and Spencer made us all pancakes and sausages with very limited resources because he's magical. And on the way home we got stuck in traffic and I was introduced to the joys of fooling around in the car, lol.

I'm just really, really happy with Spencer. We suit each other so ridiculously well. Our hobbies are different but complementary, our senses of humor are very compatible, we're SO well matched in bed, and he's very patient and good about dealing with me when I'm being silly or lacking common sense and I'm very good about dealing with him when he gets depressed or morose.

I want to marry him. I really do. I know I'm rushing things. We haven't even known each other a full year yet. (We met on July 29.) We've only been dating seven months. But this is the kind of relationship I'm willing to put the hard work into because I know he'll match my effort. I've never been in a really effort-matched relationship before, there's always been a huge imbalance in one direction or another before this, but I want to be the one to make him happy for the rest of our lives. He's wary about it because he was dumped after being engaged for seven years, but... I don't get how dumb his ex must have been. He's absolutely wonderful when he's being treated right, and I am very very determined to treat him right. Our seven month anniversary is the 23rd. We're going to Providence to see the Mountain Goats on the 28th and spending a little time in Massachusetts before coming home for the weekend. I'm off from the 28th to July 5th, so that will be a very good vacation.

In other news, the library union is FINALLY on the verge of signing a contract after a year and a half without one, and I'm anxious to get it signed so I can finally get a long-overdue raise. Hopefully that'll go through in the next couple of weeks.

But... I'm tired. I've been lightheaded all day after last night's seizure. And I think I'm going to go to bed early tonight. SO that's enough for now.


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