speccygeekgrrl42: (in his ear : Sherlock and John)
[personal profile] speccygeekgrrl42
I'm still stuck in that blissful new-relationship-energy state with Greg and I think we're one of those mushy overly touchy couples but I can't help wanting to touch him all the time and I am like a magnet for his hands and lips. I can't even believe how good things are with him. We're just... so ridiculously well suited to each other. I realized last night that I am in the kind of relationship I love to write about-- the kind where the lovers are supportive of each other and actively trying to make each other happy but also content, not just "I feel happy now" but fulfilled with their life and their personal growth and encouraging each other to meet their goals.

He caught me in the kitchen on Saturday night and whispered in my ear for a solid few minutes about how much he loves me and how happy I make him and how content he is to be committed to only me and how fulfilling our relationship is and all I could do was stand there and whimper happily because... oh my god. Being told that sort of thing by someone who feels that polyamory is a defining principle of their life is just... crazy. I made the point to him that under as much stress as he's under and given how many things he has to juggle now, splitting his romantic focus would seriously compromise the balance he's walking between school and research and personal life, and... I think I made a good point and I'm really really just delighted beyond words that he's taking it to heart.

He's so good at getting me to the beyond-words stage of delight. I feel wordless a lot of the time compared to him, he's so talkative and I think he's absolutely fascinating and charming and I just... have to mediate all of my words through text to make them as good as he manages just talking naturally, it feels like. And I wonder about how soon my shitty memory will start being a problem because as much as I would love to remember verbatim everything he's told me and everything of his writing that I've read, I forget a lot of things and I forget very quickly (worse when I'm high, like I was all weekend) and I just... don't want him to get frustrated with how non-comprehensive my memory is compared to his.

Oh, being high all weekend was because Kristin came to visit me! She and I and Amber and Jenice and Mandy and Mandy's friend Jenny all went to see Postmodern Jukebox at the Palace on Friday night and then Kristin stayed with me. We went to the mall on Saturday (and bought too many Pops) and came home and ordered Indian food and played Pandemic and watched a couple of episodes of Rick and Morty with Greg...and then Greg thoroughly took me apart in bed and oh my god how amazing is it to me to be in a relationship with someone who's this ideally sexually compatible with me? I feel like I've been mis-yoked in every relationship before, and I've finally been harnessed with someone who I can perfectly keep pace with. So thrilling.

Then on Sunday Greg went to go do his own housework and some homework and Kristin and I sat on the couch for eight hours smoking and snacking and marathoning Stranger Things in one fell swoop with only very brief bathroom breaks, and OH MY GOD that was amazing. Then we made dinner and sat around talking with Greg and Claudia and just having a low-key and wonderful conversational evening and ended up talking until almost 11. It was great.

I've been denying myself so much good media because of writing my novel, because I know what I do when I pick up fandoms, I want to get into the fanwork side of it, and I have a couple of fluffy little Stranger Things fix-it fics I want to write now. I feel slightly bad for polyshipping preteens, but I want to write so many sweet innocent cuddles with Mike and Eleven and Will in their secret hideouts. That show was ALMOST perfectly satisfying. Almost. But I can bring Eleven back in fic. And I will. Try to stop me. I'm going to write it and then I'm going to podfic it.

Yes. I'm getting back into podfic. I'm actually going to do it on Patreon because I want people to be able to commission me on a rolling basis if they really like my work. I bought a quality headset so no more shitty laptop microphone, the Patreon is taking form (I need to upload some examples of my previous work and I need to record a couple of new things and I need to figure out where I'll be uploading besides AO3 - definitely Youtube now, I need to learn how to make audio files into video files), there's still stuff that needs to be done before I can launch the Patreon properly, but I'm getting there. Greg encouraged me to pick it back up and Catey came up with the idea of doing it on Patreon and now I'm totally psyched about it... I just have to figure out how to make time for recording, and writing, and watching a couple episodes of Rick and Morty every night Greg spends over, and doing things with Greg, and spending time with other friends, and going to concerts, and holding regular game nights, and teaching jewelry classes, and traveling, and all the other things I like and need to do.

I can do it. If I can help Greg get his schedule in order, then I can manage to get my own schedule in order with his support. And he does support me, he loves my hobbies and wants me to have time to do all of them, he wants to go places with me and help me see my friends and just do stuff together, but we're both capable of doing our own thing when we're alone without feeling lonely or left out, too.

I'm just-- so crazy about him. He takes such good care of me. I love doing all the little domestic things with him, I love showing him things I love and being shown the things he loves, I love talking to him and learning more things about him and how interestingly his mind works, I want to meet the people who are important to him and I want him to meet my people... I want to take him home to meet my parents. I think he'd like my mom and dad. And I'm very eager to meet his mother, who is an old-school slash writer who used to write X-Files slash fic around the time I was getting into that and I think it would be so perfectly hilarious if I'd gotten hooked on slash in middle school because of something his mom wrote. She sounds super cool and she's eager to meet me too. And I want to meet his best friend Michael, who is also a writer and sounds like an excellent person.

We've decided that instead of boyfriend/girlfriend, we are "nesting partners" because he's starting to feel at home in my apartment and definitely feels at home in my bed and I just... think that's perfect. Because nesting is what I do. And I know I love someone when I want them in my nest. And I want him in my nest every night from now on. Which is going to make things a little awkward when Chris comes to visit, I think. I want the two of them to meet but I also don't want to have to send Greg back to his apartment at the end of the night. I'll figure something out.

Okay. I have SEVERAL concerts I need to write about, but I just wanted to write about this weekend while it's still fresh in my head. Back to work now.

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Dani

June 2017

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