Nov. 27th, 2016

speccygeekgrrl42: (backrubs are love : Kirk/Spock)
My life.

My weird, crazy, unpredictable, bizarre life.

First, a relationship update: Greg encouraged me for the entire length of our relationship to also date other people. Not just said it was okay but actively encouraged. Tuesday night I double checked with him that he really meant it. Wednesday I asked Spencer if he would mind dating me if I was still dating Greg, and Spencer said that he'd never considered poly at all before but he was willing to try it because he really likes me. Wednesday afternoon Spencer came home with me, I thought we would cuddle and play Pokemon Go, we actually fell into bed and made out for two and a half hours. Greg came home two hours earlier than I expected him to get out of the lab for the day and found us together. Wednesday night Greg and I had a conversation about where our relationship was going and when it ended I thought things were a little precarious but not doomed. Thursday was Thanksgiving, I spent the early afternoon with my coworker Chris's family and had a wonderful time. When I got home from the Havens home, Greg was waiting for me and we had another conversation. He said that we were not compatible in too many ways and I pushed him into saying whether he wanted to keep dating me or not... which he did not. So that kind of ruined my day, being dumped on Thanksgiving, but I let Spencer know that he didn't have to worry about the poly thing any more because he was my only boyfriend now, and he came over and spent the night and made me feel much better.

Then I spent all day Friday with him, except when he had to work in the morning. Then we spent all day Saturday together except when he had to work. It is now Sunday, he is currently at work, and we have plans for the rest of the day together. I kind of sort of very strongly encouraged him to immediately start spending the night every night because he doesn't even have a bed at his apartment and he's much closer to where he works from here so we can spend a little more time together in the mornings. He has to be at work for 6am on weekdays, so I'm trying to adjust my schedule to fit his a little better. If I can turn 5:30-8am into productive time I'll be a fucking powerhouse.

Okay. Rewinding the tape slightly... how things went wrong with Greg. I liked how intellectual he was, but he was too cereberal. He had good conversations with my friends, but he always held himself apart from them. He never did my game nights, he didn't want to be integrated into my social life. And he motivates himself by being very harsh and hyper-critical of himself, and he couldn't stand that I didn't seem to have a method to motivate myself (which was unfair to say when I was spiraling into a bipolar depressive swing, but whatever, I was never going to be ambitious enough to make him happy). And we really were not sexually compatible. He told me that he was bored when we had sex and that it was a problem that I never initiated. No kidding I never initiated, I could tell that he was bored. I just wasn't kinky enough to satisfy him and he had very specific things he needed to do in order to get off which weren't interesting to me. So... he was right. We weren't compatible in too many ways. I asked him if he'd just been waiting for me to get another partner before he dumped me, and he said no, but I still think the timing was very suspicious.

Back to Spencer... so a week ago, the Saturday before Thanksgiving, Chris and Emily were coming from out of town to do a Friendsgiving here in Albany with me, but they weren't arriving until like 8 and Greg was in the lab all day long and Spencer and I hadn't seen each other in a while, and I found out that there was a nest of Kabuto in Saratoga for Pokemon Go, and Kabuto are Spencer's favorite Pokemon. So we took a trip up to Saratoga, got a little lost, found the place, smoked a bowl, found a spot we could stand and hit two Pokestops from, lured them both, and caught about 40 Pokemon in 30 minutes, including several Kabuto. It was really, really nice. Spencer is very sweet and nerdy and sad, and anyone who's known me for a while knows that I am incredibly weak for sad, sweet, nerdy boys. I wanted to touch him the whole time we were in the car... just put a hand on his knee or play with his hair or something. I had the same impulses when he would come for game nights at my house, and he's come to every one I've had since I met him. My October game night was the day after his birthday and I made him mint chocolate chip cupcakes, and that was the only thing he got this year. The whole time I've been friends with him, I've had a feeling that we were going to end up together... we went on a lot of 'friend dates' that I insisted was just friends because I wasn't entirely ready for a relationship again, and then Greg came out of nowhere and swept me off my feet. I sort of have a feeling that I needed Greg in order to get me back into relationship mode so I'd be ready to be a good girlfriend again, but Spencer was who I was meant to end up with, as far as the story of this bizarre year goes.

Anyways, Sunday was Friendsgiving, and Spencer was supposed to go up to Vermont to get some work done on his car but it snowed and he couldn't get out of the Albany area, so I invited him to Friendsgiving at my place. So it was me, Claudia, Chris, Emily, and Spencer. Emily did all the cooking, which was really wonderful of her, it was so nice not having to worry about any of it... I offered to help but my kitchen really is too small for two people to work at the same time. So we all ate and had a good time, and then Spencer and Emily and I went to take down one of the local Gyms in Pokemon Go that had been Level 10 Instinct for weeks and weeks. We could only take down one of the three, but it was nice in the car with them talking about the game and joking around. And then later that week I just couldn't stop thinking that I really wanted to be more to Spencer than just a friend, and that Greg had been saying all along that he wanted me to date whoever I wanted to date, so I asked Spencer out... and I'm really glad that I did, because Spencer and I are 10000% more compatible than Greg and I were. Greg was impressive on paper but we really didn't have any hobbies in common and his taste in media is weirdly specific and we just weren't good in bed together. Spencer and I don't have hobbies in common, but I understand his hobbies. He's a gamer. I've known gamers my whole life. He wants to speedrun video games. He also likes board games and plays Magic: the Gathering. I don't play video games or Magic, but I've spent pretty much literally my entire life around people who do one or both of those things. He hasn't read or seen Harry Potter, but he's willing to read it or watch it for my sake. He's a big Stephen King fan, which I am not, but I'm excited to watch the Dark Tower TV series with him so I'm going to have to read those books first. We're trading off exposing each other to media; I'm showing him Rick and Morty now, and he's going to show me something next, probably the Spiderman cartoon since that's his favorite. He was telling me yesterday about the plot of one of his favorite games and he was just so excited about it and made it sound so interesting... so I might make him play his favorite games for me and sit and absorb the storyline as he plays.

I know this came out of nowhere to most of my friends... I didn't make a big deal about my feelings for Spencer on FB when they were developing, and I made a very vague post when I asked him out. But I changed my relationship status from in a relationship with Greg to single on Thursday, and when I woke up on Friday I had a request to change it to in a relationship with Spencer. So all my FB friends probably think he's a rebound fling, but he isn't. I really, really care about Spencer a lot already and I'm glad that we were friends for several months before we started dating just so we had some time to get to know each other better. But we're so good together. He's really, really obliging. Like, I asked him if he would shave on Thursday, and on Friday night he did it, just shaved his entire full beard off and let me watch him do it, which was weirdly sexy. He's sexy. Like really. The way he bites his lip drives me crazy. He absolutely melts when I touch the back of his neck. He is so so easy to please and I love it. He has beautiful hair that I love to play with. He has really beautiful eyes, just a gorgeous blue-grey that he says look more grey in the winter and more blue in the summer. I can't keep my hands off him at all, and the back of his neck is like a fucking magnet, I just can't help putting a hand there all the time. He is CRAZY good in bed. He gave me the most perfect backrub last night. I felt so good when I went to sleep.

I just... I want to keep him. I want him to be mine. I want him to move in here with me (even though there's literally no room for another person in this apartment... I could get rid of some of my stuff and make room for him). I wish I made enough money to be his sugar mama, I want to spoil the fuck out of him. He's been treated so badly over his life and he just deserves to be treated so much better and I want to be the one who turns his life around like that. He works at a hotel restaurant and he hates it but he has student loans he has to pay off for a degree he didn't finish getting so his job prospects are not bright, he can't even apply for all of those "any bachelor's degree in any field" jobs that come up for the state/city. I want to give him everything he could possibly want. I want to make him so happy that he doesn't know how to cope with it. I want to make myself irreplaceable to him. He says that I'm already making him that happy.

This is probably the most possessive thing I've ever done, but... my tattoo shop was having a Black Friday sale so I currently have $275 credit there. I want to pay for him to get a tattoo. I want him to have a permanent mark that I am responsible for putting there. We could both get relatively small things done for that much. He said he wants a Kabutops but he wants to think about it more and make sure it's what he wants. I'm not in any rush, I need to figure out what I want first. I still want a Ravenclaw crest, but I don't know where. I want a dragon, but I don't know what dragon specifically. I want sleeves, but those will be a lot more expensive than that. Maybe some stars or a galaxy or nebula on the back of the wrist I have the Starfleet insignia on.

Okay. I have like... eight concerts I need to write up, but those will be a separate entry. My relationship status requires 2000 words to explain, but I needed to get it all written down.

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Dani

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